Bird Nest Hair, Sky Club, Muse, Daybreak

As you all probably read on Facebook, I got cheated to a 400RMB haircut that makes my hair look like the Beijing Olympic Stadium. I might have scraped by Chemistry with a A2, but I can't place the smell of the 定发剂 the fucker sold to me for 400 RMB. I think it's Ammonia, or it could be Hydrochloric Acid, but what I am certain of is this: This is not the smell of romance.

With hair like that, chances of a Shanghainese romance have nosedived to zero. Photos will appear on FB later (because Esther is mean like that). Basically what happened was I instructed the guy to thin my hair, but he insisted I curl my hair A LITTLE, and he kept on talking and talking and talking for 15 minutes, and so close to my face, I basically told him to do whatever the fuck he wants.

Bad idea. First he put my hair into curlers (when I specifically told him I don't want a perm) and he said no problem, it won't be a Auntie Perm (you know, like the Lion Roar woman from Kungfu Hustle) and when I raised objection, he assured me my hair won't turn out curly.

He then showed me the prices for the 定发剂, and I had 2 choices, either 380 or 480 ("With discount!"). Remember that by then my hair was all in curlers, and I didn't know how to say "No, take them out and just thin my hair" because to piss of the Scissorhands behind you is basically comitting follicular murder. He basically made the decision for me because he said 480 with 15% discount was 408 and 380 had no discount so you might as well.

After getting an assistant to squeeze 1.5 bottles worth of that shit that smells like Ammonia, he then wrapped my head in Gladwrap, then rolled out the Perm Machine. Yes, it was about now that I knew I was fucked. With all that chemical in my head, I said there fuming as the heating band circled around my head like vultures, and my hairstylist (from now on known as FUCKING CHEEBYE CONMAN FROM CHINA, or FCCFC in short), the biggest vulture of all, sat down beside me and chatted with me about how they were a BRANDED SALON and my hairstylist in Singapore didn't know jackshit. I tahan-ed it all because you know, I'm nice and polite like that. Eric and Rui kept taunting me for getting conned, and there I was fuming in my chair, trying to keep a smile on my face, thinking since I've paid so much, it can't be that bad.

Oh really? Life sure has a way of making you realise the chances of a God or the concept of Justice existing are minimal. As I gaped in horror at my FUCKING CURLY hair, FCCFC was still trying to sell me this small vial of clear water he said would wash off the chemicals properly. Then I blew my top, 你又来！刚才还坑我不够吗！Stopping short of 操你妈的, I basically told him to STFU, and the rest of the washing and subsequent hairdrying and styling was done in silence. I paced around the salon after the haircut as Esther was going through the same 3 hour long haircut, and basically ranted like crazy to Eric, who felt sorry for bringing me there. The FCCFC slunk away after the haircut, probably so I couldn't track him down and spit in his face, as I very much wanted to.

Oh well, forget it. Lesson learnt, moving on.

At night we checked out Sky Club in Tonglefang, where there was a Fudan party going on. Music was shit, girls were all vases, drinks were watered down, so we left after an hour even though we paid 100yuan for like a 3 hour freeflow. It just wasn't worth subjecting my ears to that kinda torture. We snooped around in Muse for a bit in between, and it was equally bad. As we neared the DJ console and stage, the emcee was shouting at the top of his lungs, "SAYIT AGAINNN! WE WANT SOME POO-SEE TONIGHTTTT!!! AIGHT AIGHT NOW WE HAVE HERE TONIGHT, THE BEST BEATBOXER IN THE WORLD, MC (insert some name of a 5-star hotel chain, luxury car brand or some vulgarity)" I literally ran out of Muse, back to Sky where the bar was so crowded we couldn't claim any more alkie, and left as they were playing the Hood Internet mashup of Estelle and The Ting Tings).

Sunday was a little better, as we headed to Wujiaochang to eat some steak. Our area is like 中环, Shanghai is divded into 内，中，外环 (Inner, Middle and Outer circles), and a lot of professionals with new money are staying here because of the comparatively cheaper rent. The steakhouse is therefore similiar to the Jack's Place of the 90s, when middle-class Singaporeans were exploring Western restaurant chains like Jack's, Swensen's, and if you remember, Denny's. My stomach felt funny after the short ribs. I also left my beautiful Zippo there, and forgot about it till 15 minutes later. By a stroke of good luck, the waitress who kept it was *gasp* not a FCCFC, and it was returned to me safely. I considered giving her a bit of money but Rui made a very good point that I'd be encouraging people to do good acts only for profit.

We then headed down to the Bund area in search of Glamour Bar, where the Shanghai International Literary Festival was happening, with a Sunday screening for each of the next 3 weeks, featuring old B&W films set in Shanghai. Today was Daybreak (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daybreak_(1933_film) , an excellent silent B&W tracing a poor village girl's journey to Shanghai, where she was subsequently raped, sold off to a brothel, and then later became a sort of agent provocateur and Robin Hood type for the Revolution. The subtitles were pretty shitty, but for such an early film there was recurring imagery, an excellent soundtrack, and a theme very relevant to the exploitation of cheap labour in China right now. It was disturbing to watch the pro-revolutionary, pro-peasant film in a posh bar called Glamour, right smack on the Bund, with french windows that overlooked the glittering buildings across the river in Pudong. You'll see what I mean when I upload the picture on Facebook.

Ok time to sleep. Bye!