Shanghai Savvy

Catching Myself In Time

2009-05-11T07:41:00.000-07:00

Some of you might know the unfortunate suicide in the student's dormitory a couple of months ago. I made light of the situation -much to my shame now- scorning weak-minded people.

I started huddling myself just now at scenes on TV of Wenchuan, broke out into sobbing, and there was no voice in the room to tell me what my life's been about. Clawing my way out of the state, I was dazed, as if I had just escaped a narrow death, jumping out of the tracks just before the train bore down on me. Loneliness is so scary and intangible, hits you without warning. Nothing I've done this week has led to this incident, just another sucker punch that will turn into a blip in -what I now hope to be- a long, long lifetime.

Fuck that was some scary shit.

Porridge

2009-05-05T14:03:00.001-07:00

I didn’t realise how much I missed the smugness of being local until I fell sick in Shanghai, and couldn’t find porridge that lasted past midnight.

At 130am, almost all the roadside hawkers had dispersed. The only one that remained gave me options: fried rice with beef, or fried rice with pork. I chose one.

Back in the room, I was tempted to boil water and throw it into the Styrofoam box, but I fought the insanity, and shoveled it in with a pair of disposable chopsticks.

I will be lying if I said my tears made the rice so watered it might as well be porridge, because when you’re alone in a foreign land, the last thing you want to do is weep. There’s no one to listen.

Earlier today, I had porridge at Xin Wang again. It was piping hot, tasty, well-garnished. All the decoration, all the reminders that I had to pay, it wasn’t made for me alone, Mummy wasn’t beside me to helplessly tell me porridge was good for colds.

The GoogleMap I have in my heart is useless in this terrain. My extensive list of supper haunts back home cannot save me here. What I wouldn’t give for some sloppy gruel with self-service, the clanging of ceramic bowls and spoons, soy sauce and pepper on standby.

Less Is More, More Is Good

2009-05-03T23:49:00.000-07:00

Like most men I think I'm invincible. This explains my severe underpreparation of a medicinal kit, thinking that nothing would hit me, and even if it did, I'd be able to buy from a local pharmacy.

There's been a cough that refuses to fuck off for about 2 weeks now. So I decided to swing by a local pharmacy at WuJiaoChang today. Bad idea.

Firstly, as if shelves in pharmacies aren't already chockful of colours and brands and fonts, they had to be in Chinese. I can read Chinese, yes, but medicine terms are kinda WTF. Not knowing what I should go for, I described my symptoms to the salesgirl, who recommended me some pills and a liquid. She reached for 2 bottles of (probably) nasty stuff, and no one in their right mind would've taken 2 bottles of anything from a pharmacy, unless you're really cheap and want a high. So I said no, 1 bottle. "2 bottles will only last you 3 days!"

Ummm, it was larger than the plastic bottle we're used to back home. I insisted on 1, because from past experience we all know the medicine dispensed in Singapore is never meant to be finished, and if you still haven't recovered after a cycle of a miniscule bottle of cough syrup and some teensy-weensy pills, you should probably do a full-body checkup.

Then I got home, and read the instructions. I had to swallow 4 emerald capsule pills, and drink 20ml of that nasty. The pills weren't small, and as I was trying to force the 4 pills down, I wondered why they couldn't just increase the active ingredient into 1 capsule. I realised from past random observations, that the Chinese tend to believe More is Good in medicine. Pills have always been fat, if you visit a hospital before the doctor sees you you have to get an IV drip, they don't have small tablets the size of a handphone button. It's always about the grand gestures, as if I'll have a peace of mind when I feel the capsules sticking inside my throat.

All this waste, and what for? I am still skeptical, not because of prejudice, but because I read under Side Effects for the pills: 尚不明确 "Things are not clear as of now." Fucking fortune cookie.

Blind Mountain 盲山 (2007)

2009-05-02T05:58:00.000-07:00

If Blind Mountain failed to win any awards at Cannes, I have to watch Blind Shaft (Silver Bear).

MIDI Day 1

2009-05-01T10:01:00.000-07:00

Wow. China has a lot of rock fans.

MIDI was weird, in the sense that for a major music festival, it had a lot of foodstalls, like maybe 20 or so, and not small ones as well. There were 2 臭豆腐, 3 羊肉串 and many other stalls that were replicated. The only alkie was beer, urgh. They sold ice-cream, and merchandise stalls were very bare.

Many people at the festival were locals, and dressed like they were going to a park or a restaurant... I counted tens of women stumbling across the slopes in 2-inch heels. And my, the slopes! Instead of grass, we had green netting nailed to the ground, which was supposed evened with a tractor. Tractor, not steamroller. It was like chiong sua. I myself stumbled around in my sneakers (no I wasn't drunk, not yet anyway), which had turned brown from the soil and dust. It was effectively a construction site, but I'm not complaining, for a 3-day ticket that cost 120RMB, there's really nothing to be said. The program booklet was free, the merchandise was cheap. I got a Thinman 瘦人 album for 30RMB, and a MIDI tote bag for 15 RMB. Compared to the 40 euros I paid for my Sonar bag, this was peanuts. I had to buy a tote bag because I stupidly wore a windbreaker in 20+ Celcius weather. Not very smart, I know.

Now on to the music, as expected, the dance music stage had more people commuting from the main arena to the toilets, which was a very sad fate. It was daylight, I was shy, so no dancing. Not that I dug that stuff anyway, mostly Detroit techno and minimal electro, as if they were the same thing.

The main arena was majestic, I almost thought I was at live8. I sampled the best of Chinese rock, and man was it good. Technically very sound, metal bands were very metal, alternative were alternative, and they were all dressed the part. I particularly liked Twisted Machine and Thinman. The foreign bands were a bit bleah for me, I guess we're quite spoilt that way. Mike TV (UK) was funny, and I LOL-ed when the singer of Army of Freshmen (US) jumped off the stage, only to be surrounded by 6-7 policemen, refusing to let him shake hands and connect with the crowd. Ironic when you see how the government has permitted all forms of American media, brands and products into China, causing the Chinese to imitate the American way of consumerism (my Fudan professors agree). And then they bar a no-name American band lead from shaking hands with the same youths exposed to hundreds of American-styled advertisements. *chuckle*

Obviously, everyone was waiting for Cui Jian, the Godfather of Chinese Rock. The stupid website said Grandfather, so when I went around asking people if this was 老催爷爷 they looked indignant. Then someone said 教父, goddamned translations...

I didn't really like his shit, but he was phenomenal. He was the only artiste people were chanting to see, and everyone at the back got off their asses, the scene was so intimidating, people were "pogo"-ing, devil's horns everywhere. There's no Western equivalent of Cui Jian. And having read up a bit of his past, I kinda had this feeling a lot of the youths were celebrating his past feats, and not really digging the music. Whatever the case, rock has always been politically-charged, but that didn't do it for me, so I left before Zhenjiang's pitiful fleet of cabs became all hired.

The cab I got on took on another passenger, offering me a "discount", so I sat in the backseat in silence while the 2 chattered away in the front. I got a 2RMB discount, judging by what I paid to get there earlier.

Please appreciate this post, I'm not very sober. I'm all ROCKED, and STONED. \m/

MIDI Music Festival

2009-04-27T02:49:00.000-07:00

http://midiweb.rockinchina.com/index.php?title=Midi_Music_Festival_2009

Praying Eric and Eve can find me a train ticket there...

from: http://www.douban.com/group/topic/6215055/

09迷笛音乐节注意事项

1、如果下雨，千万不要穿匡威李维斯之类的帆布鞋，尤其匡威，就跟纸板一样，很容易湿透。　　　　

2、今年一定要带伞，天气预报说普降大雨，虽然我从小学开始对中国的天气预报就抱有怀疑的态度（春游每次都报有雨，但从来没下过，尽忽悠人，吓得人家的小心肝儿噗通噗通的直跳，坏死了！），再说了，就算不下雨，遮太阳也好啊，是伞能有多大，备着总是用的上的。　　　　

3、今年镇江的场地并不是很理想，草地也是现种的，据我在镇江的朋友说，上周才发芽…场地在长江边上，晚上应该会很冷，所以最好带一件外套，以备不时之需。（那长江据说是刘备当年娶媳妇的时候路过的）

4、如果以前没去过迷笛的，就得提醒一下了，不要带瓶装灌装的饮料酒水去音乐节，如果你甚至买了1箱，那只能恭喜你，白买了，每年都会有安检都会很严格，不要骂迷笛不要骂迷笛里面的摊贩垄断，世界各地的音乐节都是不让带瓶装灌装入场的。如果你想通过其他方式带进去，就自己想办法吧，现在那边现场还没搞好，这两天去埋几瓶应该还是可以的，做个标记，到时候再挖出来，真有趣！另外提醒：更不要带一切五金工具入场，例如榔头、扳手等等……干嘛用？某年迷笛S*Bs乐队在台上演出，之间我身旁一长发哥们儿从靴子里抽出一榔头，咻的一下，就飞上去了……

5、如果你把瓶装灌装的饮料带进去了，就算你彻底的不喜欢哪个乐队，就算你被那乐队的不良乐手给糟蹋过，就算这个乐队曾经或者当时给你的心灵带来了无限的创伤，也请千万不要把这些瓶瓶罐罐甚至榔头锤子往台上砸，虽然说伤到花花草草没啥关系，但是伤到乐手那就不好了，为什么不好，下面会说，但还是要说一句，只要乐队在台上演，即使你再不喜欢，也尊重一下人家吧。

6、无论朋克金属还是崔健，音乐节大家和和睦睦的，不要打架斗殴，就算打架斗殴也等出了音乐节场地之后再解决，既然你是去看音乐节的，那就说明你喜欢这个音乐节或者喜欢其中一部分东西，为什么还要毁掉它呢？镇江政府能搞这样的音乐节已经算是不错的了，说不定地方政府看到了这个市场，下一回的某大型音乐节就在你所在的小城市里，如果出现了斗殴事件或者乐手被莫名其妙的大型暗器杀伤事件，以后谁敢办这样的音乐节呢？

7、老生常谈了，POGO的时候要注意安全，要量力而行，防止体力透支，防止意外伤害。严禁在妇女不愿意的情况下强行推入pogo圈，18岁以下儿童请在成年人的指导下进行pogo，12岁以下身高不足150cm的儿童严禁pogo，以防止不必要的伤害。见到有人被撞倒在地，大家请友情的搀扶起来。

8、传人的时候请事先问好被传者是否愿意被举起来传了玩儿，如果被传者是女性，下面的人请主动让她面朝天，如果是男性，请看准位置再下手。传人的时候注意不要把人传到没人的地方然后丢掉不管。

9、关于mosh，尽量不要尝试，这可是在中国啊。甩头的金属党们务必注意和前面的人保持一定的距离（距离按照你头的高度和+头发的长度+5公分来计算，请事先自行做好测量工作），即使你有铁头功，不怕头被撞破，也不要把前面的同学撞晕呐。甩头的时候一定要注意不要过度、量力而甩，甩完后最好扶住另一个人休息一会，否则容易眩晕。如果在甩头过程中出现眩晕、恶心、呕吐等症状，请立即以减速的方式慢慢停止甩头，然后在朋友的陪同下到一块空地进行休息，如果依然不适，请及时就医。

10、带一些创口贴、清凉油、避孕药、感冒药等常备药物在身上，以防不时之需。　　　　

11、尽量不要在露天的情况下进行各种两性活动，实在忍不住，可以租帐篷，毕竟这是中国嘛，再说，江边风很大，容易感冒。

12、如果你有露阴癖，请不要在尚未勃起的情况下进行操作，因为这样不壮观也不雅观，如果被国际友人看到了，还会影响我们中国男性的民族自尊心。

13、外地的朋友（包括我）务必在到达镇江后立即购买返程的车票。

14、保管好自己的东西，不要酒后驾车，即使充满愤怒也不要袭警，在宾馆的朋友晚上别闹太晚，叫床不要太大声，以免影响其他住客的休息，不要暴饮暴食暴干暴吼，注意节制！　　　　

15、各位补充……

最后，让我们共同度过一个美好、和谐、安全、快乐的节日！

Word.

My lungs are relieved but my heart is sad

2009-04-21T02:57:00.000-07:00

Probably the opposite of what you were thinking, I sent Mummy off at the airport with a heavy heart, and no amount of carefree smoking could cheer me up. She offered me some money on the way to the airport, looking all worried. I refused it knowing full well I'd have run out before the end of the semester. I didn't want her thinking she was an ATM on this trip, so I paid for everything when she was in Shanghai, with money I could ill afford to fritter away. I am finally sober, and I am finally ashamed to say I have spent 36000RMB so far. I refuse to ask her for more money, and her offer has strengthened my resolve. I should be fine, barring any calamities, but of course this is China, so.

There is work to be done so I shan't dwaddle, take care and catch up soon!

Suzhou Day 1

2009-04-17T09:25:00.000-07:00

I GOT INTO MY FIRST CAR CRASH IN CHINAAAA! It's been a long time coming. Nothing major though, our driver was daydreaming and rammed into the bumper of the van in front, I don't understand why people here like to brake sharply for no reason. Waited along the highway for the drivers to settle (3-car collision), and then the cops came, and the tow trucks. Whole episode lasted over an hour... Stupid China. It was fun sitting in the car getting towed along the highway though, kinda exciting cos you know it's so dangerous!

I think my future lies in China. We had dinner at a Chuan Cai place called Chuan Fu Lou, and the three Hongkongers, Mummy, Aunt Pui (mummy's 6th sister) and 6th Uncle were complaining throughout dinner about the bad service, and repeatedly fail to get the attention of the waiting staff. Mummy would ask for tea by saying "Ma Fan Ni" in a soft feminine voice, so of course I had to step in and in my firm booming voice, "Fu Wu Yuan!" causing 3 heads to turn at once, with the closest waiter walking briskly to me, and then I let Mummy take it from there. 6th Uncle kinda surprised me because he's worked in China before, and it was only then I realised not everyone can adapt to the culture here.

Ok mummy's sleeping now, I better not stay on for too long, nights!

Suzhou Switch

2009-04-16T08:52:00.001-07:00

I'm leaving behind the messes on my desk, in my wardrobe, my brain, my heart, my iTunes library, my dvd collection, my health.

This weekend I am the son to my mother, life is simpler that way.

Some Things

2009-04-14T09:11:00.000-07:00

非诚勿扰
金瓶梅 (2008)
金瓶梅 (1996)
上车，走吧 (2000): http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XNTk0NzI2MzI=.html
La Bete Humaine (Renoir)
The Outsider (Camus)
Midnight's Gate (Bei Dao)
Gran Torino
The Time Machine (Wells)

Been a fan of Ge You since Huo Zhe, he does commercial films by Feng Xiaogang too. Feng is like what Jack Neo aspires to be, but with a bigger budget, and a much more substantial box office performance. People aren't ashamed to say they are fans, except for AV Wang, who has since stopped saying "这个可以！" (wrt to my tastes in film) to me after I specifically asked for Feng's films for a marketing paper I'm doing.

The actor in 上车，走吧 was in Crazy Stone as well, which is why I found him particularly familiar. He's really good, and ugly. But mostly good. Telemovies from China fascinate me.

Camus is a sneaky bastard who lulls you with a story about a passive man, whose only act of impulse (blamed on the heat, the sun) lands him in prison. Camus then orchestrates a rousing closure, having entirely abandoned the pace in the first half of the book, and launching a tirade on liars, hypocrites and Christians (not related).

Catching The Sun

2009-04-13T01:35:00.000-07:00

I've never lived overseas for a long period of time until now. You come to realise that the day is really precious because the sun goes down by 6 (stupid CCP's Beijing timezone rule) and is up by 5, usually when I'm still awake.

The last few weeks I've unconsciously drawn the curtains back to catch a glimpse of the henpecked sun before it dissolves into fog and moon territory. Sunlight is precious, try not to stay in too much. <3

DJ Dexter

2009-04-10T13:53:00.000-07:00

It was a little weird to head down alone after I decided not to make things difficult for Rui, but after a good gig, I really think it was the best that could've happened. Rui wouldn't have stayed till 3, he wouldn't have been able to rap along. I am thankful all I had for company was myself :) DJ Dexter was outstanding, seamlessly mixing swing, big band, heavy rock, reggae, funknsoul, drumnbass into 90s hiphop like New York State Of Mind and Microphone Fiend. I couldn't hear the Dilla and Madlib he promised, and I wish he played P.E.'s Shut 'Em Down (Pete Rock remix) to end things, but all in all it was good. Unpretentious music that doesn't bother to cater to popular masses, he's all I wanted to be and more. Dancing in front of the speakers, I realised I didn't mind the heavy feedback from a fucked up audio system, it sounded grimy and sweet bass, I really apprciated the short krump set he dropped, it's been a while since I've had a refreshing experience like this.

Beijing pictures up really soon, things are getting a bit too much to handle for now, both school and girls. I don't have 99 problems but it sure feels like it. Still, best night out in Shanghai ever, I think I'm sick in the head. I enjoy my own company on a night out like that more than anyone can give me. Why, I'll never figure it out.

Beijing Day 3

2009-03-28T05:57:00.000-07:00

Walked around Yong He Gong and Tian Tan today, nothing much to report, except the Lama paintings possessed a stunning amount of detail. Didn't take too many pictures in Yong He Gong, because I am superstitious and respectful like that. A bunch of Brits treated the temple as a playground, screaming and laughing like it was a circus. Felt like beating them up.

Tian Tan was really nice, except we got there late so it was a rush job like that. Am still jealous of the grandeur in China. there is so much to walk. Came back early by myself, decided to wander around Tian An Men, there are plenty of CCTVs. I'm actually hesitating about the Great Wall and Tian An Men tours the next few days, I'm beginning to lose interest in Beijing. What won't I do for buffet feast at a hawker centre right now. I don't even feel like buying stuff anymore. Maybe I'm grumpy cos I had no coffee today. Bah.

BJ Day 2

2009-03-27T08:18:00.000-07:00

Headed out really late after watching NBA match between Celtics an Magic last night, had a bit of difficulty finding 798 art district, it's a huge place, but a really well-kept secret. Even Rui who wasn't into the artsy stuff liked it enough to say why not stay on and screw the Da Dong Roasted Duck (really famous Peking duck restaurant, hundreds of awards and signatures hanging on the walls, including a vote of confidence by our very own Nathan).

798 was a huge industrial areas where all the state-owned factories used to be, then someone had the bright idea to convert them to art galleries and shops. Asking for directions at the metro station, I was happy to hear the stationmaster inquire about 798, then mumbling to herself, "Art stuff huh... Maybe I'll go check it out soon..." Passing it along is cool, especially to people with no pretensions.

The art galleries there humbled me. In Singapore, because our place is so small, artists seldom think big. Big, in terms of grand projects, on massive scales. Over here you can't find petite, delicate art, every piece is towering and majestic. And the best thing? It's all free. Free admission, free to take pictures, free to talk. Which isn't a problem seeing how deserted the place is. I'm so jealous of China, with so much land it doesn't cost more to rent the space than the art itself. I'm glad that in post-reform China, at least the art is still somewhat Communist. In that you get this sense from 798 that art is a public commodity to be enjoyed by everybody. Giant sculptures line the place, and people aren't bothered that it's dirty, dusty, and stepped all over by people. They still valiantly leave them out on the sidewalks, knowing that by tomorrow it'll probably have treadmarks from a reckless cyclist. For people not into art stuff, there are also things to buy in small shops.

We were an hour late for Da Dong, which is so hot weekends are IMPOSSIBLE, and the latest reservation has to be seated by 630, or you start queueing outside like everyone else. I counted nearly 100 people waiting for a table outside, and the food is worth queueing for. The duck skin melts in your mouth, they have Glenlivet for 50rmb a shot, which isn't too much to pay when you're in China. The foie gras fried rice was awesome, and so was their sweet&sour fish and some unidentified prawns. We're gonna try dog meat soon though, hope it tops the duck.

Beijing Day 1

2009-03-26T09:15:00.000-07:00

Wasted money on the softsleeper because I totally couldn't fall asleep... 13 hours of trembling carriages and we landed in Beijing at 7 in the morning. Groggily we took the Line 2 to Guloumen and got lost trying to find our hotel in a hutong. Had an awesome breakfast with some red porridge, baozi and youtiao, then found a nice cafe near the Gulou called Excuse Cafe.

Headed to the Zhonglou on a whim, then back at the hotel where I slept the afternoon away while Rui headed to the Olympic Stadium to take some touristy pictures. My first dinner in Beijing consisted of a fish burger at KFC, thanks to Rui's adventurous personality. Then we spent the evening at Lao She Cha Guan, where we paid 320 to sit through 100 painful minutes of tourist trap. Tacky lights, crummy looking projector, the presence of Americans, it was the perfect storm.

Went to Wangfujing after, but we were too late, the place closed at 10pm. Were accosted by shady looking women to go check out their ktvs and discos though. Very, VERY shady. Of course since I'm here blogging about it now we didn't accept their invitations. Was telling Rui how if I could turn back time I'd definitely go check out the place, see how they cheat people. I'm always fascinated by their ingenuity.

Houhai was another tourist trap. We were trailed by a couple of pickpockets before we turned around and stared them off. Went into Lotus Blue, which wasn't a big deal. And now we're back, utterly convinced Beijing is more touristy than Shanghai. The girls are hotter though, and surprisingly, the Beijingers dress very well too!

Beijing Countdown

2009-03-22T19:29:00.000-07:00

Beijing in 2 days, can't wait. Chinese tv ads are funny, no regrets paying the subscription money... I'll explain when I have time.

Blah blah blah, should I go to Huangshan

Between Then And Now

2009-03-16T22:07:00.000-07:00

I went on a weekend trip with Singaporeans to Shaoxing, there are a lot of Singies studying in Shanghai, and a large majority of them hail from Hwa Chong, with some in those groups originating from Chinese High or Nanyang, and if you go even further back, from Nanyang Primary. So the stereotypes are true. We are, as they say, cheena-poks.

It was very enjoyable, not least because Rui and Esther were there. I hate making new friends, seeing how horribly shy I really am. I'm not the type of person who will try everything on the menu once, I'm more the person the barista at Starbucks can remember for a specific order. The people on the trip were mostly nice, except for one or two obnoxious fuckers, and I, as usual, didn't really interact much with them. I regret this, this is my personality, and I have no idea how to do this befriending thingum properly.

Shaoxing was, refreshing. Not least because once you leave Shanghai, you remember what clean air tastes like. The night before leaving I had horrible chest pains just off where my heart is located, and there was no emo factor in this. It was a deep, dull ache that protested every move I made with my upper body. Maybe it was my smoking, maybe the smog played a part too, but it cleared up immediately after we sped towards Zhejiang. On the highway, I felt humbled by the sight of a great country with so much land it can afford to be lax in planning, and have fresh vegetables to eat. Once off the bus I walked down and gulped the crisp air with a vengeance, and the weather was great. By great I meant I could walk around in a t-shirt (I have been doing this in SH for nearly a week now, much to the disbelief of my friends) and not feel any chill.

The hostel we stayed in was a quiet place converted from an old residence. For 60rmb a night, you can't really complain, we had clean sheets and an AC, and the toilet was clean. There was however a glass window in the bathroom overlooking the beds, and no curtain. It was tricky, but we managed. It was also 5 mins away from the Lu Xun's Residence, where we headed down to see old rooms, and faded pictures, to celebrate this great Chinese writer.I had no inkling about. I used to think I was pretty Chinese, until I came here and met this bunch of Singaporeans who study Chinese Literature for a living, only to realise I know nothing.

We had some Shaoxing wine, also called 黄酒 locally, and it tasted like sweet vinegar. I kept making faces to keep people entertained throughout dinner, but really it wasn't as bad as say, tequila. I finally found my lotus stuffed with glutinous rice glazed with honey, and pigged on that, which Zi Wei was nice enough to buy for me the next day before we headed back so I could OD on that shit. Music really affects me, earlier in the entry I was in a mellow mood because of Leona Naess, but once I switched to The Mighty Underdogs (hip hop) you see the words "OD" and "shit" in the same sentence. "It's a gunfight, high noon fight to the death...."

Next day we visited the Wine Museum, and East Lake, and you know what I'm tired of typing, so there's really nothing much to say, except I spent the weekend visiting dead people and walking through their memories in photographs and historians' 片面之词, have already started referring to my dorm room as "home", girls in Shaoxing are prettier than those in SH, I will need to start doing a lot of travelling now because time is running out.

---

I have been watching many DVDs, sometimes sacrificing classes to finish a film. Surprisingly, my top 3 are all Criterion:

Bicycle Thieves http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bicycle_Thieves

Bob le Flambeur http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_le_flambeur

Heaven Can Wait http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heaven_Can_Wait_(1943_film)

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Pictures are up on Facebook. Take care.

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Bird Nest Hair, Sky Club, Muse, Daybreak

2009-03-08T09:37:00.000-07:00

As you all probably read on Facebook, I got cheated to a 400RMB haircut that makes my hair look like the Beijing Olympic Stadium. I might have scraped by Chemistry with a A2, but I can't place the smell of the 定发剂 the fucker sold to me for 400 RMB. I think it's Ammonia, or it could be Hydrochloric Acid, but what I am certain of is this: This is not the smell of romance.

With hair like that, chances of a Shanghainese romance have nosedived to zero. Photos will appear on FB later (because Esther is mean like that). Basically what happened was I instructed the guy to thin my hair, but he insisted I curl my hair A LITTLE, and he kept on talking and talking and talking for 15 minutes, and so close to my face, I basically told him to do whatever the fuck he wants.

Bad idea. First he put my hair into curlers (when I specifically told him I don't want a perm) and he said no problem, it won't be a Auntie Perm (you know, like the Lion Roar woman from Kungfu Hustle) and when I raised objection, he assured me my hair won't turn out curly.

He then showed me the prices for the 定发剂, and I had 2 choices, either 380 or 480 ("With discount!"). Remember that by then my hair was all in curlers, and I didn't know how to say "No, take them out and just thin my hair" because to piss of the Scissorhands behind you is basically comitting follicular murder. He basically made the decision for me because he said 480 with 15% discount was 408 and 380 had no discount so you might as well.

After getting an assistant to squeeze 1.5 bottles worth of that shit that smells like Ammonia, he then wrapped my head in Gladwrap, then rolled out the Perm Machine. Yes, it was about now that I knew I was fucked. With all that chemical in my head, I said there fuming as the heating band circled around my head like vultures, and my hairstylist (from now on known as FUCKING CHEEBYE CONMAN FROM CHINA, or FCCFC in short), the biggest vulture of all, sat down beside me and chatted with me about how they were a BRANDED SALON and my hairstylist in Singapore didn't know jackshit. I tahan-ed it all because you know, I'm nice and polite like that. Eric and Rui kept taunting me for getting conned, and there I was fuming in my chair, trying to keep a smile on my face, thinking since I've paid so much, it can't be that bad.

Oh really? Life sure has a way of making you realise the chances of a God or the concept of Justice existing are minimal. As I gaped in horror at my FUCKING CURLY hair, FCCFC was still trying to sell me this small vial of clear water he said would wash off the chemicals properly. Then I blew my top, 你又来！刚才还坑我不够吗！Stopping short of 操你妈的, I basically told him to STFU, and the rest of the washing and subsequent hairdrying and styling was done in silence. I paced around the salon after the haircut as Esther was going through the same 3 hour long haircut, and basically ranted like crazy to Eric, who felt sorry for bringing me there. The FCCFC slunk away after the haircut, probably so I couldn't track him down and spit in his face, as I very much wanted to.

Oh well, forget it. Lesson learnt, moving on.

At night we checked out Sky Club in Tonglefang, where there was a Fudan party going on. Music was shit, girls were all vases, drinks were watered down, so we left after an hour even though we paid 100yuan for like a 3 hour freeflow. It just wasn't worth subjecting my ears to that kinda torture. We snooped around in Muse for a bit in between, and it was equally bad. As we neared the DJ console and stage, the emcee was shouting at the top of his lungs, "SAYIT AGAINNN! WE WANT SOME POO-SEE TONIGHTTTT!!! AIGHT AIGHT NOW WE HAVE HERE TONIGHT, THE BEST BEATBOXER IN THE WORLD, MC (insert some name of a 5-star hotel chain, luxury car brand or some vulgarity)" I literally ran out of Muse, back to Sky where the bar was so crowded we couldn't claim any more alkie, and left as they were playing the Hood Internet mashup of Estelle and The Ting Tings).

Sunday was a little better, as we headed to Wujiaochang to eat some steak. Our area is like 中环, Shanghai is divded into 内，中，外环 (Inner, Middle and Outer circles), and a lot of professionals with new money are staying here because of the comparatively cheaper rent. The steakhouse is therefore similiar to the Jack's Place of the 90s, when middle-class Singaporeans were exploring Western restaurant chains like Jack's, Swensen's, and if you remember, Denny's. My stomach felt funny after the short ribs. I also left my beautiful Zippo there, and forgot about it till 15 minutes later. By a stroke of good luck, the waitress who kept it was *gasp* not a FCCFC, and it was returned to me safely. I considered giving her a bit of money but Rui made a very good point that I'd be encouraging people to do good acts only for profit.

We then headed down to the Bund area in search of Glamour Bar, where the Shanghai International Literary Festival was happening, with a Sunday screening for each of the next 3 weeks, featuring old B&W films set in Shanghai. Today was Daybreak (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daybreak_(1933_film) , an excellent silent B&W tracing a poor village girl's journey to Shanghai, where she was subsequently raped, sold off to a brothel, and then later became a sort of agent provocateur and Robin Hood type for the Revolution. The subtitles were pretty shitty, but for such an early film there was recurring imagery, an excellent soundtrack, and a theme very relevant to the exploitation of cheap labour in China right now. It was disturbing to watch the pro-revolutionary, pro-peasant film in a posh bar called Glamour, right smack on the Bund, with french windows that overlooked the glittering buildings across the river in Pudong. You'll see what I mean when I upload the picture on Facebook.

Ok time to sleep. Bye!

Living Alone

2009-03-01T09:58:00.000-08:00

I think I still have a long way to go with this independence training.

Earlier today, I was happily buying cereal and milk from the convenience store, and wanted some Cocoa Frosties just now. After washing my only cup/mug (made of plastic btw) I proceeded to open and pour out 2 satchets of cereal, when I suddenly realised:

1) I didn't have a spoon.
2) Everyone's asleep at 2am in the morning.
3) I was really hungry.
4) Come to think of it, I didn't have a fork, a bowl, fruit knife, or even a pair of chopsticks.

Well done Gaston, just, well done.

Mediocre DnB at the Shelter, Weekend Shopping

2009-02-28T10:03:00.000-08:00

Weekends here are evil, because I haven't gone a weekend without spending 2000 RMB. Eric doesn't help by egging me on. I spent over 3000RMB today, shopping took up about 2000, then the rest was on cabs, drinks and meals. I need to hang out less with Eric srsly :\ I've spent over 16000RMB since arriving, which is quite mad.

Checked out Eno and The Thing today, bought a lot of stuff, including 4 tshirts, a cap, a shirt, a bag and a awesome jacket from this boutique called Catalog. The Thing's really cheap, nice t-shirts going for 100RMB each, Eno was uninspiring, and I bought the only cool thing from the shop for free (a backpack) because we managed to spend more than 888RMB in the place (I really wanted the bag).

The Shelter was fucking awesome, like Home Club, but bigger and with tunnels built for Vietcong type sizes. There was absolutely no reception underground, which kinda sucked unless you weren't waiting for people to come. The DnB was kinda crap, and I gave up after an hour of forcing myself to have fun by downing a lot of whiskey back to back. They played anthems from 5-10 years ago, and the transitioning was very shit. I kept thinking bout the LTJ Bukem gig which was happening at the same time, one sea away. It bugged me alot, because even as I type this I'm very sure the party is still going on strong at Home Club. Bukem is a crowd pleaser, and I remember I danced till 5am when he last came. We left after just over an hour, and so I'm now back in the dorm feeling sorry for myself.

Gotta watch the expenditure man, that's nearly 4000 SGD I've blown so far, and this is just the 3rd week here. Fucking scary shit.

Campus Music and UCs

2009-02-25T11:04:00.000-08:00

Today I was taking a smoke break at Liu Jiao (6th Classroom Block) when some guy started humming softly to himself, then like a gradual crescendo, broke out into full song about pining for a girl, before walking off, leaving his song trailing behind him, carried back to me by the winter winds.

Later in the evening, I was taking another smoke break when I heard a faint strumming of the pipa. Walking towards the song, I came up to a window where I saw a bunch of middle aged people practising pipa and opera songs. I'm beginning to love this campus, even with heaters that don't work, and the lack of power points for my laptop.

In other news, UC people are pretty stupid. I had to endure their sub-par marketing presentation in the morning, and then in the evening Logistics Management class, a pretty ABC from UC Berks asked the professor in an insistent voice, "Isn't Branding already part of R&D??" You could almost hear my jaw land on the desk with a huge thud. Then after class I overheard them debating smugly how it was impossible that all the firms in the world had 80% of their revenue/income from 20% of their customers. They took the 80-20 rule wayyy too literally. Seriously man, how did they get into UC Berks? Is it that easy?

It's Been Awhile

2009-02-24T08:41:00.000-08:00

I don't really know what to say, but school's been busy, and classes are pretty challenging, being a Chinese Ivy League equivalent and all. Shopping's been slowing down since school's taken over. DVD player coming soon so I foresee a lot of holing up in apartment.

I keep getting people who tell me I don't look like the artsy type, for whatever reasons that escape me. You mean there's a look?

I finally found The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar for like 50RMB, which delights me to no end. People here have been pretty nice so far, the going's good. I have given up taking pictures though, carrying a camera about is damn leceh.

I don't really know what to do this weekend though, think it's time to whip out my TimeOut to put it into good use. There's a drum n bass night this Saturday I think, hope it'll be good.

Golden Point's deadline is looming, I need to start reading/writing.

2009-02-21T10:28:00.000-08:00

Got properly drunk. Missing X, this girl. Eric says I have funky taste, but screw him. There's a dick dick-blocking me though. GRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Went to Yuyintang and LOgO tonight, drinks are really cheap in Shanghai. Found a number for some fresh beats. Gonna try it tomorrow. Mmmmmmm time to get down in Shanghai. FUCKING AWESOME

(Yes, I am properly drunk. Hopefully next post will be drunk+stoned)

Gravity Conquers Definitiv

2009-02-19T08:40:00.000-08:00

Was trying to remove my jeans just now, and my foot got caught in the jean leg, causing me to trip while standing on one foot, and my whole weight came crashing down on my left knee. With that, my brittle self-confidence shattered, because as I struggled to sit up on my bed, I realised I didn't have an ice-pack handy.

Or any cough syrup, aspirin, cold remedies etc. I had been so confident I'd be ok, that I never once thought I'd need a first-aid kit. Yesternight's nosebleed/nosegush was blow #1. Today, there was no one to call, so I sat on my bed for awhile. Of course, there wasn't really time for self-pity. I hobbled to the bathroom, and wet some toilet paper with cold water as an improvisation.

Staring at the lumpy toilet paper, it was a pretty low moment. This was right after the high of having been brought to Orchard CRC cafe, a Singaporean cafe with something resembling a kopi peng.

Ok I'm typing with 1 hand, so that's it for now. Throw some sympathy this way ok?

Day It's Time For Some Real Titles, Tomorrow Maybe

2009-02-17T11:30:00.000-08:00

I've written 2 poems, one on a cab and another on paper in Cafe Dan, this awesome coffee place in Tianzifang, near Taikang Lu and Sinan Lu. One good and one bad, can you guess which?

Every trip to Walmart costs me too much. The room is finally taking good shape, like, with clutter and all, kinda feels like a home now, except the bathroom floor is still dirty (I refuse to touch it) and dust enters the room even though it's completely sealed off. I'll have to wash my towels and bedlinen soon, not looking forward to that. I also bought some Japanese DVDs from another shop since AV Wang is adamant about Japanese still being occupational bastards. Every good person has one shortcoming, Mr Wang's is thinking a generally polite and civil society still bear the expansionist gene in them.

Weather's been really cold these few days, and classrooms aren't heated, so this morning I froze my ass off in class with Rui and Esther, for 2.5 hours. Kinda makes you appreciate SMU, but not enough for me to want to go back. Mother is in some Japanese mountain skiing this week, I have decided to drop my ITT and do a general Finance major instead. I should be able to clear 4 credits, or hopefully 5. The amount of DVDs currently in the room tells me I should take a film module for fun. I am also planning to take a Jazz Appreciation class in Chinese for fun. Class starts later in the afternoon, so hopefully I fall asleep in the middle of Clerks, which will ensure I get 5 hours sleep for the first time in a week.

Speaking of first times, I just had my first fruit (an apple) since arriving in Shanghai. Never has an apple made me so happy. Walmart rocks. I have another 3 apples, 4 oranges, and a box of organic strawberries to work my way through before restocking.

Swung by the House of Jazz and Blues today, impressive decor, and good selection of single malts, except I suspect they used tap water to make their ice cubes. Gave my Glenlivet a strange metallic end note. At least it was interesting, which was mroe than I could say about the live band, this washed out quintet from New York (maybe they were from the Bronx or something), together wit their vocalist, who wore a promising headscarf but fell flat aftet the first bar. It was rude, but we left int the middle of the first set. The roadside mutton sticks were so orgasmic. I don't understand why people can't bring themselves to eat and while sitting on a mini wooden stool, in midnight cold. It was great. I was glad to have Eric, who I can talk poetry, film and even jazz with.

I probably have over 40kees of luggage right now, so if anyone plans to come over, save me 5 kg of luggage space please.

Day Things Start To Be More Brief

2009-02-16T10:24:00.000-08:00

There isn't much free time because things are so busy, and every night I return to the dorm past midnight (and have to sign in my name and room number and time returned on a useless book at the front desk), which leaves me no time to do any laundry or cleaning. The pile of boxers and socks is starting to build up, and the end is imminent. Soon I will have to get down and dirty with my undies, and put hands into socks. However, for the moment, Uniqlo is proving to be a lifesaver with boxers so cheap I can very nearly not have to do any washing whatsoever.

Have been to Uniqlo, H&M, Zara and all that, the last few days we've (by we I mean Eric) brought Joseph (a consumer whore) all around time to do shopping, and by shopping of course I mean he mostly window-shops while I do all the buying. A lot of buying. In a flash, I have spent about SGD2,000, of which very little goes to the costs of setting up stuff and appliances. I splurged 500 on 2 pairs of jeans. The first was a pair of selvages from Nalakuvara, this little known brand from Taiwan, on Ruijin Yi Lu and Changle Lu, which cost about 200. The second was from Haso (http://hasojeans.com/), just a few doors down, where the 300 (both in SGD :((( ) was gone before I had a chance to sober up.It was a delightful thing, perfect fit, and designed to have the dyed denim on the inside, effectively disrupting convention. The button fly leading all the way to below the crotch was also a big draw. I sound like I'm justifying purchases, but I loved it so much I decided to keep them on and dump my G-Stars into the bag. http://www.shmag.cn/feature/streetwise tells me they do customised jeans as well, which the uninterested salesgirl didn't tell me about, so I expect myself to be there real soon, once my finances are back in health again. Along with Haso, there are a lot of boutiques I haven't had time to try, so it definitely won't be the last time they'll be seeing me! I have also bough a few tees, shirts, a basic cardigan, a nice jacket, and a pair of Pumas (my first ever!) which was going at 50% off.

School was supposed to start this morning, but I decided to give the first class a miss to spend some time with poor Joseph who came down to see us at the dorm, only to wait hours while we tried to get our registrations settled. Things are still a mess on the academic front, since we only got the course list on Sunday, which left us with less than a day to choose the classes to try out for.

Mahjong with Eric and Esther was fun, automated shuffler FTW! I don't know what I'd do without Eric, all the food has been nothing but awesome, and he's picking up a lot of tabs from having to bring the whole bunch of us SMU kids around.

Weather's been like a woman, blowing hot and cold at the snap of a finger. Hopefully the freak twists and turns will end soon, and then spring will come and I no longer will have to use the faulty heater in my room. The metro's alright, but seriously at Shanghai Railway Station (one of the interchanges) the smell of century-old piss is enough to transform the most good-tempered of men into animals. I dropped money twice today, first at the railway station, and once more probably while I was taking my cigarettes out of the pocket. It probably didn't amount to more than 100RMB, but it's just a sucky feeling.

I can't remember what else I want to say, except that I hope everyone's happy and in good health, and I'll see you back here in, like, whenever!

Day 3

2009-02-14T22:45:00.000-08:00

My Internet was down so I made brief notes about Day 3, Day 4 was pretty good too, except I'm really spending money too fast!

Shoved a cab hijacker aside and stared him down = feeling like local

Went to DVD shop with extensive collection, and bought about 50 DVDs for 500 RMB, including Monty Python and Kim Ki-Duk boxset. Owner, Mr AV Wang (Wang Lei) is Japan hater because of history, so not many Jap films. Stocked up a lot of Criterion though :)

Then headed over to Eric’s and A-ed another 15 or so off him, before teaching 4 people how to play poker, which was fun because 1) Stakes weren’t high 2) I set a no re-buy tourney style top 2 split 55-35 with first out becoming dealer taking a 10% tip: Eric, then Esther, then Lewis, then Yi Rui, who I pipped by a few dollars after outing Esther and Lewis.

Meeting Joseph tomorrow, my Internet is kinda fucked, so this is done on Word hoping tomorrow will be a better day blah blah

Day 2

2009-02-12T12:05:00.000-08:00

I was still deliberating in the shower at 330am in the morning if I should actually be blogging instead of catching up on some much needed sleep, when It finally dawned upon me that the Herbal Essences shampoo I thought I was using was actually conditioner. Last night I was too kanckered to register surprise at the lack of suds despite the copious amount I squeezed out of the new bottle, but just now it finally occured to me to read the Chinese words carefully.

润发剂. Not 洗发露. Joanna told me the former meant "shampoo" last night at Walmart, where we all all tired after a long day, and I obdiently picked the same bottle after Rui made the decision. Rui's probably still in the dark about this. Mental note: Tell him tomorrow. Then laugh at ourselves.

Because what is there to do but laugh? 35+ units on each floor share ONE washing machine, no dryer, and the blacony is both too dusty and cold to dry colthing. The ONE fridge shared amongst over 60 people smells like someone left a rotting corpse in it for 2 years or something. After our mistake of opening the damned fridge (and reacting with a collective "OOOOF!"), we were walking down the corridor, when a minute had passed and I had remarked, "I can still smell it", and everyone agreed.

Settled the bank account and Eric bought my Sim card (number: +86 13651765233), which means cheap calls back to Singapore. After bank account, headed down to People's Square for lunch at Ajisen, where the soup was unbelievably tasteless. Starbucks was full because noveau rich snub other coffee joints for an exemplary model of American capitalism, which all Shanghainese not-so-secretly worship. At Eric's recommendation, I found the only bookstore along Fuzhou Lu which stocked English books, and bought Albert Camus's The Outsider, Fifty Great American Short Stories, HG Well's The Time Machine, and Conrad's The Secret Sharer, for a total of *TADAH* 120RMB.

Eric brought me to a nice Taiwanese restaurant, and then a short detour to Uniqlo for undies and socks, before heading for a massage at Green Massage (www.greenmassage.com.cn) which was kinda posh and nice, but sad to say, not humsup at all. During the massage, we heard this woman moaning and groaning like she was getting an orgasm, which was imposs because the masseuses were really professional and tactful, careful to avoid all sensitive ares except under the armpits, which I never why understood the need to massage.

I can complain alot about the sorry state of my room, sorry state of affairs, the gloomy prospect of school next week, but there are a lot of things to explore and do, so I'm going to put up with everything, including the miserable episode last night where I woke up at 4am wondering why I was conscious, only to look down and see my feet shrivelled and shivering, because the temperamental A/C cum heater decided it was bedtime for it too. I didn't buy a blanket at Walmart because I found it too expensive (when it really wasn't, except for the fact that I wasn't used to buying household items like that and didn't budget for it, hence the resistance), so I slipped on a pair of socks, and spread my Burton jacket like a mini-blanket which covered up to my knees only, taking care not to move around bed too much. To put myself to sleep, I had started to play Blackadder Season 3 on my Macbook like it was a lullaby, only to wake up shivering and sneezing at Episode 2 of Season 4. Depressing stuff, but I'm happy with the books bought, and Eric's promise of cheap DVDs tomorrow.

Have spent over 2000RMB in 2 days, not a good sign at all. I still have to write my Temasek journal, and source for community service. Tomorrow I'll have to really clean up the room so I can finally walk barefoot in my own room. I also need ashtrays, furry slippers, more towels, more rags, and a DVD player in anticipation of all the boxsets I'll be getting tomorrow.

Finally, WHO THE FUCK TOLD ME SHANGHAINESE CHICKS WERE CUTE?!?!???? YOU LIED.

Day One

2009-02-11T09:45:00.000-08:00

This blog name is a misnomer, because China whooped my ass today. The flight in was okay, not the adventure we expected from our foolhardy (re: economical) decision to fly China Eastern Airlines (800 vs 450). Despite the shoddy website, the flight was surprisingly comfortable, and no houseflies and mosquitoes as I've led people to believe. The meal was also unpretentious, with pork that tasted like pork, and rice that tasted like rice. There was even green leafy vegetables, and if I had to nitpick, it'd be this fucking rude air steward, who I figured was pissed at me because I was so much better looking, and almost a head taller than that fella.

Anyway, the room is obviously, as we'd have learnt over the years, not exactly like it was advertised. It was dusty, the balcony can probably fit 2 lying bodies and an ashtray in between, the bathroom tiles are perpetually cold, and I nearly slipped a few times on it. I'm really sleepy now so I'll make this quick.

Walmart was 3 stories high, but couldn't muster a plastic bag for all our bulky items like pillows and bedcovers. We had to push trollies out at 10pm, throw everything into 2 taxis (for the 4 of us), and take up half the hall of the student's dorm when we got back. Sleepy continue tomorrow

Names

2009-02-09T10:36:00.000-08:00

I was gonna use a really long blog address like "Little Red Dot Versus Little Red Book", but decided it was too hard to remember, and might get me into trouble with authorities there, so my conquests will have to suffice.

I have absolutely no idea what I'm gonna do when I get there, haven't done any research, haven't even really packed. I publicly express worry, but really, I secretly enjoy the excitement that comes with an ill-prepared trip.

Come visit if you can; and if not, take good care, and come back here once in awhile to check if I'm still alive.